Jimmy Kimmel


Last quote by Jimmy Kimmel

If you think we screwed up the ending this year, wait until you see what we have planned for the 90th anniversary show!feedback
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May 16 2017
We can learn a lot about a person if we know what types of things he or she talks about or comments on the most frequently. There are numerous topics with which Jimmy Kimmel is associated, including Oscars, Donald Trump, and thx. Most recently, Jimmy Kimmel has been quoted saying: “If you think we screwed up the ending this year, wait until you see what we have planned for the 90th anniversary show!” in the article Kimmel will return to host 2018 Oscars after handling on-stage blunder.
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Jimmy Kimmel quotes

I can think of a way to pay for it is don't give a huge tax cut to millionaires like me and instead, leave it how it is. I mean, that would be one way. That's my vote.feedback

If you were born with congenital heart disease like my son was, there was a good chance you'd never be able to get health insurance because you had a pre-existing condition. If your parents didn't have medical insurance, you might not live long enough to even get denied because of a pre-existing condition.feedback

We were brought up to believe that we live in the greatest country in the world, but until what, a few years ago, millions and millions of us had no access to health insurance at all. Before 2014, if you were born with congenital heart disease like my son was, there was a good chance you'd never be able to get health insurance because you had a pre-existing condition.feedback

If your baby is going to die and it doesn't have to, it shouldn't matter how much money you make. We need to make sure that the people who are supposed to represent us, people who are meeting about this right now in Washington, understand that very clearly.feedback

Thank God our Congressmen made a deal [Monday] night to not go along with that.feedback

Don't let partisan squabbles divide us on something that every decent person wants. No parent should ever have to decide if they can afford to save their child's life.feedback

I have a story to tell about something that happened to our family last week.feedback

He appeared to be a normal, healthy baby until about three hours after he was born. We were out of the delivery room; we moved to the recovery room. Our whole family was there. We introduced him to his 2½-year-old sister. She was cute with him. We were happy; everything was good. My wife was in bed relaxing, when a very attentive nurse … was checking him out and heard a murmur in his heart, which is common with newborn babies. But she also noticed he was a bit purple, which is not common. My wife and I assumed it would be nothing; our daughter had a heart murmur, too.feedback

It's hard to explain. Basically, the pulmonary valve was completely blocked. And he has a hole in the wall between the left and right sides of his heart. I'm sorry. You know, I try not to get emotional, but it was a scary story. And before I go into it, I want you to know it has a happy ending, okay? So when I'm telling this, don't get too upset. Leave that to me.feedback

He's doing great. He's eating, he's sleeping – he peed on his mother today while she was changing his diaper. He's doing all the things that he is supposed to do.feedback

Every one of my friends was there 100%. We had atheists praying for us, okay? We had people who do not believe in God praying to him. And I hate to even say, but even that son-of-a-bitch Matt Damon sent flowers.feedback

I want to say thank you to President Trump. I mean, remember last year when it seemed like the Oscars were racist?feedback

So Canada's about to become the stoner living in America's attic.feedback

Did I just defend Hitler? Hitler! Yeah, I think I did. If it wasn't so disturbing, it would have been Hit-larious.feedback

That is such sanitized, say-nothing, take-no-responsibility, corporate BS speak.feedback

You made him so happy. You didn't just find a woman, you found thousands of women!feedback

He was kind of obsessed with you guys settling down. He would always bust your balls about that.feedback

I've been to a hundred games and stadiums with 50,000 seats. They never sell the same seat two times to one person, but for some reason, airlines cannot figure this out.feedback

I know it sounds crazy to say he was too young, but he was, . Because he was youthful and funny and sharp and generous. Frank was drinking, and he was not in a good mood.feedback

He hammered me and heckled me through the whole meal, until finally I just got up moved over to his table.feedback

It was like I was in some kind of talk show host fantasy camp: sitting behind a desk while Don Rickles made fun of me. It was like being a real talk show host for a minute.feedback

I know it sounds crazy to say he was too young. But he was, because he was youthful and so funny and sharp and generous.feedback

Well, I'm not good with this sort of thing, and I'm sorry, especially to those of you who came here to see the show in person, because that's probably not what you came for. But we lost someone that we and I love very much today. Dear Jimmy, Thanks so much for inviting me into your home for dinner. But, to be honest, we would have preferred a three-month trip to Venice, Italy.feedback

I grew up in Las Vegas – so Don Rickles – even when I was a kid – was a very big deal. His name was on the marquee at the Sahara. Then you'd see him with Johnny Carson. Making fun of Johnny – making fun of [Frank] Sinatra.feedback

The fact that this somehow made it through -- I can't imagine how many meetings, and edits, and pitches, and then got the thumbs-up from who knows how many people, is absolutely mind-boggling. Once again, we see a Kardashian in a video being put in an awkward position.feedback

Ninety years with Don Rickles weren't enough. One of the sweetest and most lovely people I had the pleasure of knowing. We miss you already.feedback

Maybe he's right, maybe it is over our heads, maybe these jokes are great.feedback

Maybe Mike Huckabee is right. Maybe [his humor] is over our heads. Maybe what Mike Huckabee needs is a stronger presentation; jokes don't always have the same punch when you read them to yourself.feedback

There are a lot of cuts in the plan, including: PBS would be cut, Meals on Wheels would be cut, the National Endowment for the Arts would be cut. The guy who has three oil paintings of himself in his bathroom wants to cut the National Endowment for the Arts. And Meals on Wheels – how could that be? How can you cut Meals on Wheels? Meals on Wheels is out, but don't worry, the golf trips to Mar-a-Lago every weekend, those will not stop.feedback

That would never happen to Barron Trump, you would be in the stockade right now, you would be in Russia somewhere.feedback

Don't they have secret service there protecting the children of prime ministers?feedback

If every one of you took a minute to reach out to one person you disagree with, someone you like, and have one positive, considerate conversation – not as liberals or conservatives, but as Americans – if we could all do that, we could make America great again. It starts with us.feedback

It would have been a nice little button to the whole night.feedback

The plan for the last joke was – the Best Picture winner is announced, they make a speech [and] I was assuming the Best Picture was not going to be Manchester by the Sea. I said if it's not Manchester by the Sea, I'm going to be sitting next to [Damon], and it's going to be my revenge for the Emmys. I'd start wrapping the show up, but then the camera would widen, and we'd see that Matt would be sitting next to me and I would say, Well, you know, it's unbelievable, Casey [Affleck] won and Kenneth [Lonergan] won. There's only one person who didn't win tonight and it's you.feedback

It should be whoever the president hates seeing do it the most, and that's undoubtedly you.feedback

The president spoke tonight before a joint session of Congress and we're going to ignore it for a very good reason, and the reason is I need a break from it, to be honest with you. Tonight if anyone says the name of the orange-colored man with the Russian boyfriend, they will have to put $100 in that jar that Guillermo is holding right now.feedback

Meryl Streep has phoned it in in over 50 films over the course of her lackluster career.feedback

Remember last year when it seemed like the Oscars was racist? This broadcast is being watched live by millions of Americans and around the world in more than 225 countries that now hate us. This is Meryl's 20th Oscar nomination. Made even more amazing considering the fact that she wasn't even in a movie this year, we just wrote her name down out of habit.feedback

Except for the end, it was fun. You know its a strange night when the word envelope is trending on Twitter.feedback

I spent the whole rest of the night answering questions about it. It was quite an evening, it really was.feedback

Now there's mass confusion. The audience is confused. The people standing around me are confused. I assume everyone at home is confused. And I'm probably supposed to do something, because no one's doing anything.feedback

It was kind of scary, in a way. That was the producer of 'La La Land' who thought he won, standing there holding an Oscar they're going to take away from him. My first instinct was to tell him to run. Take the Oscar and get out!' But he didn't.feedback

Now so we have the producers of two movies on stage. Who the hell even knows who is who from which movie? I'm standing there like an idiot, feeling bad for these guys – but also trying really hard not to laugh, to be honest.feedback

It was the weirdest TV finale since 'Lost'. I was like, Hey, no, I didn't! I did not pull a prank! If I'd pulled a prank, I wouldn't have just had the wrong winner's name on the envelope. There would have been a Bed Bath & Beyond coupon in there. You know, when you do a show, you aren't just the host, you're the lead detective. You're like the sheriff of the show. Warren Beatty could be in prison right now if I wanted him.feedback

Eventually I figured out that Barry Jenkins, the director of 'Moonlight,' is standing behind me and Denzel wanted me to get him to the microphone to make a speech, which makes sense. Thank God Denzel was there to make sense.feedback

Remember last year when it seemed like the Oscars were racist?feedback

Guys, this is very unfortunate what happened. Personally I blame Steve Harvey for this.feedback

I want to say thank you to President Trump. Remember last year when it seemed like the Oscars were racist?feedback

Oh good, I got a sitting ovation. This is my first time here, and the way you people go through hosts, it's probably my last time here. So I'm going to enjoy this while I'm here.feedback

Meryl Streep has phoned it in for more than 50 films in the course of her lackluster career.feedback

I knew I would screw this up. I promise to never come back.feedback

Meryl Streep has phoned it in for more than 50 films over the course of her lackluster career. Please join me in giving Meryl Streep a totally undeserved round of applause.feedback

Some of you will get to come up here on this stage tonight and give a speech that the president of the United States will tweet about in all caps during his 5 a.m. bowel movement tomorrow.feedback

Nice dress, by the way. Is that an Ivanka?feedback

This is not a prank. And if it is, my revenge on the academy will be terrible and sweet.feedback

Bill Murray could shove you off the side of the Hoover Dam and you'd be like, Hey, Bill Murray,' all the way down.feedback

If Donald Trump gets elected and he builds that wall, the first person we are throwing over it is Mark Burnett.feedback

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