Patton Oswalt


Last quote by Patton Oswalt

Wesley was just f_____g crazy in a hilarious way. He wouldn't come out of his trailer, and he would smoke weed all
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Oct 13 2017
This page is completely dedicated to what Patton Oswalt has to say. All of Patton Oswalt’s quotes are organized here by date and topic. The most recent quote attributed to Patton Oswalt came from an article called Dick Gregory, Comedian and Civil Rights Activist, Dead at 84: “Dick Gregory was a planet of a person whose gravitational effect on comedy was so massive and all-encompassing it still can't be measured.”.
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Patton Oswalt quotes

Apr 26 2017 - Netflix

I'm just very self-conscious. I still have the 22-year-old me in my head, going, This is not Frank Conniff. They brought some sitcom actor in to do the part. I can hear the judgment in my head – 'cause that's what I would do at my age if they had replaced Frank Conniff with me. I'd be angry at

Apr 25 2017

It's the opposite of Andy Warhol's thing. In the future, everyone will be allowed to be anonymous for 15

Apr 21 2017 - Twitter

This is my first time being a single father. I've missed forms for school. I've forgotten to stock the fridge with food she likes. I've run out of socks for her. I've run out of socks for me. It sucked and it was a hassle every time, but the world kept turning. I said, Whoops, my bad,' and fixed it and kept stumbling

Apr 21 2017 - Twitter

I'm going to keep going forward, looking stupid and clumsy and inexperienced at first, then eventually getting it, until the next jolt comes, and the next floor drops out from under me, until there are no more

Apr 20 2017

I'd go back into the back office and Michelle would just be there … in tears because some road she had gone down had not panned out, and then – it's, I now have to start back again from zero, .feedback

Apr 20 2017

She could recall the details of pretty much every late 20th and 21st century crime. It was just in her head. She started looking at the devastation that this guy wrought. You're taunting the police, you're taunting the population and you're never caught?feedback

Mar 24 2017 - Slavery

Poop Dogg has nephew named Bow Wow; both bad dogs who advocate murder and sex slavery for @POTUS and First Lady. Who let the dogs out?feedback

Mar 07 2017

Alice just made this postcard for President Trump. I just mailed

Feb 03 2017

We learned today the combination of drugs in Michelle's system, along with a condition we were unaware of, proved

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Quotes by Patton Oswalt

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