Samantha Bee

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Last quote by Samantha Bee

I don't like James Comey. Nobody does. You either think he lost Hillary Clinton the election or you think he's the reason she's not locked up. Comey's a bit of a turd. But at least he's an independent turd.feedback
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May 11 2017 Trump Presidency
Samantha Bee has most recently been quoted in an article called Watch Jon Stewart, 'Daily Show' Correspondents Reunite on 'Colbert'. Samantha Bee said, “I would spend days with the worst homophobes, and sometimes the worst people you could possibly imagine, and you have to get them to engage in this big sketch that you've done. You've taken three airplanes to get there, and you need them to give you some content, and you have to be nice to them all day.”. Samantha Bee has been quoted a grand total of 42 times in 19 articles.
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Samantha Bee quotes

Trump couldn't sell Obamacare repeal to a House that voted for it 60 times already. Closing deals is the one thing President Trump was supposed to know how to do. In the end, the charmer-in-chief struck out harder than the douche-y guy at the bar who goes up to every girl in the room asking, are you a model? You can't negotiate with the Freedom Caucus, Mr. President. [Former House Speaker] John Boehner could have told you that, but he's busy sipping Merlot on the beach and counting his zero fucks.feedback

This kind of looks like when an insecure guy tries to make his penis look bigger by shaving down everything around it. Distilling Trump's spittle-flecked campaign jeremiads and incoherent revenge fantasies into policy isn't an exact science. And if it were an exact science, this budget would de-fund it.feedback

Think of them as passengers on a bus that's now being driven by a feral, paranoid monkey. They're not trying to kick him out of the driver's seat – they know we chose the monkey to be the bus driver because Hillary Clinton used e-mail and was a woman, and they respect that. They're just trying to turn the wheel slightly while the monkey is masturbating so we don't run over a cliff.feedback

But perhaps we should consider these leaks the phlegm of democracy. They're a sign that something is very wrong, yes, but also that your system is fighting it – like it's supposed to.feedback

My audience wants to kill me for normalizing a lunatic like yourself.feedback

I'm certainly requiring catharsis myself. I wish I could be more helpful to them, actually. As much as they need the show, I need the show. I experience it in a different way than the audience experiences it, but I need it, too.feedback

Just one of those classic coups where the president uses the might of the government to spy on an opponent, then doesn't release any of the information he found, lets the other guy win and then isn't president anymore. Classic coup. Exactly what the word means!feedback

If there's no one brave enough on his staff to tell their boss there's only one 'p' in 'tap,' there certainly isn't anyone brave enough to tell him Obama isn't running a coup.feedback

I mean, I get why you'd think Obama would tap your phone. Just look how angry he is and obsessed with you. He can barely stay up on that surfboard from all the rage and hatred for your administration. While Trump is flipping out on a daily basis, every picture of Obama looks like he's about to sip a piña colada, laugh and paraglide off to a photo shoot for Essence magazine.feedback

Just one of those classic coups where a president uses the might of the government to spy on an opponent and then doesn't release any of the information he found, lets the other guy win and then isn't president any more.feedback

After seven years of procrastination, the Republican House pounded some Red Bull and pulled an all-nighter to get their Trumpcare assignment in – and it showed.feedback

It's a party for the nerds not invited to the real 'nerd prom'. I had my gown all picked out. However, that didn't work out on several different levels. We're just trying to have a good time. We're looking to have a party and to have a smile on our faces.feedback

The evening is sure to bring plenty of surprises, music, food, and laughter – and if you're not careful you just might learn something. Specifically, you'll learn how screwed we'd be without a free press. We're really doing this. This is not a joke.feedback

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