Stephen Colbert

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Last quote by Stephen Colbert

I look forward to going back to America and testifying before the Senate Intelligence Committee about colluding with Russia.feedback
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Jun 24 2017 Russia
Stephen Colbert has most recently been quoted in an article called Stephen Colbert went to Russia to ‘announce’ his 2020 run for president. Stephen Colbert said, “I am here to announce that I am considering a run for president in 2020. And I thought it would be better to cut out the middleman and just tell the Russians myself. If anyone would like to work on my campaign in an unofficial capacity, please just let me know. To the beautiful and friendly Russian people.”. Stephen Colbert has been quoted a grand total of 205 times in 95 articles.
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Stephen Colbert quotes

Jun 07 2017 - Fake news

Now, all along Donald Trump has said the entire Russia story is fake news. And there is no way to know whether this document that was released is real, other than the fact that the leaker was immediately arrested. Fake news, real prison.feedback

Jun 07 2017 - NSA

It's official, the Trump administration is at war with Reality.feedback

Jun 07 2017 - NSA

Apparently, Russian hackers tried to gain access to a company called VR systems by sending workers there phony emails that appeared to be from Google that would request their log-in credentials. Okay, here's a little tip. If it looks like Google but isn't really, it's either a hacker or Bing. Just stay away from both of them.feedback

Jun 06 2017 - Trump Presidency

It's a great follow-up to everything he does that makes no sense.feedback

May 30 2017

This is what's wrong with Washington, D.C. I guarantee you there is not one person, not one voter of any political stripe anywhere in America who asked for this.feedback

May 26 2017 - Trump Presidency

Let's face it. Trump is so happy that someone will finally hold his hand.feedback

May 26 2017 - Republican Party

They were so excited about providing the affordable healthcare to everyone that they didn't wait to find out if they were providing affordable healthcare to anyone. To put that into perspective, if you laid 23 million people end to end, they would reach a country where you can get healthcare. I think the GOP repealed and replaced your grandpa. I just don't know how anyone could vote for a candidate who body-slams people. Guys, please stop shooting things. Just cut out the metaphorical middle-man and have a penis sword fight.feedback

May 25 2017 - Immigration

Back during the campaign, Trump butted heads with the pope over immigration, so people were expecting this first meeting to be a bit tense. And we saw this picture: It was. I was wrong – there is no God.feedback

May 23 2017

The Saudis know that the quickest way to Trump's heart, of course, is through his ego. She cleverly drew attention away from her head by wearing one of her husband's WWE belts. Here's Steve Bannon realizing that these aren't the kind of men in white robes he's used to. Whatever qualities that magical sphere confers, eternal youth is not one of them.feedback

May 22 2017

Why has age ravaged me? I find this very peculiar. You.feedback

May 18 2017

So…a TV star with a hit show took 11 years to pay off her student loans.feedback

May 17 2017 - Trump Presidency

That is, uh, yeah, that is definitely obstruction of something. I can't put my finger on what it's obstruction of. Oh, it's obstruction of just … a second, I'll think of it.feedback

May 17 2017 - Trump Presidency

There's no getting around it: there's a huge scandal out of the White House. No, not that scandal, or the one before that, or the one tomorrow. Although, technically, they're all part of one big scandal stroganoff.feedback

May 17 2017

Do you think anyone can ever truly know themselves?feedback

May 17 2017 - Trump Presidency

This explains why he doesn't write murder mysteries. Chapter 1: I did it. I completely agree with Donald Trump.feedback

May 17 2017 - Trump Presidency

That's like starting a Tinder account on the way home from your spouse's funeral.feedback

May 17 2017 - Trump Presidency

There's only so many bits you can do. I'm happy that only 50 percent of my monologue is about Trump.feedback

May 16 2017 - Trump Presidency

I get it – I totally have the Trump 10. I'm stress-eating. All the time.feedback

May 16 2017 - Russia

It's a good thing that the tweet speaks for itself because Sean Spicer certainly doesn't.feedback

May 16 2017 - Russia

Trump found the leaker. Although to be fair, Nixon at least attempted a cover-up.feedback

May 12 2017 - Trump Presidency

The President of the United States has personally come after me and my show, and there's only one thing to say: Hee hee hee. Yay. Mr. Trump, there's a lot you don't understand, but I never thought one of those things would be show business. Don't you know I've been trying for a year to get you to say my name? And you were very restrained, admirably restrained, but now you did it. I won.feedback

May 12 2017

You got beat by Low Energy Jeb. Making jokes about you has been good for ratings. It's almost as if the majority of Americans didn't want you to be president. But you know who's got really bad ratings these days? You do. Terrible approval numbers. I hear they're thinking of switching your time slot with Mike Pence.feedback

May 12 2017 - Trump Presidency

Late Show. Don't you know I've been trying for a year to get you to say my name? Making jokes about you has been good for ratings. It's almost as if a majority of Americans didn't want you to be president. But you know who's got really bad ratings these days? You do.feedback

May 12 2017 - Trump Presidency

You know who has got really bad ratings these days? You do. Really terrible approval numbers. I hear they're thinking about switching your timeslot with Mike Pence.feedback

May 12 2017 - Twitter

Since all of my success is clearly based on talking about you, if you really want to take me down, there's an obvious way – resign.feedback

May 12 2017 - Twitter

Don't you know I've been trying for a year to get you to say my name?! And you were very restrained. Admirably restrained. But now you did it! I won.feedback

May 12 2017 - Trump Presidency

But you're not wrong. I will give this to the man, you're not wrong. I do occasionally use adult language – and I do it in public instead of the privacy of an Access Hollywood bus.feedback

May 12 2017 - Trump Presidency

Mr. Trump, Mr. Trump. There's a lot you don't understand. But I never thought one of those things would be show business. If you did that, what would I talk about then? Except your resignation, cause that'd be fun.feedback

May 12 2017 - Trump Presidency

The night you appeared on this show…was very highly rated. In fact, the only episode that got better ratings was the night I had Jeb Bush on. That's right. You got beat by low-energy Jeb.feedback

May 12 2017

The president of the United States has personally come after me and my show and there's only one thing to say: hee-hee-hee yay!feedback

May 11 2017 - Trump Presidency

Mr. Trump, Mr. Trump. There's a lot you don't understand. But I never thought one of those things would be show business. Don't you know I've been trying for a year to get you to say my name?! And you were very restrained. Admirably restrained.feedback

May 11 2017 - Trump Presidency

Now while it looks like Donald Trump fired James Comey to stop the Russia investigation – that is why. Because, one thing we've learned from the last two years of Donald Trump is that what it seems like he's doing is exactly what he's doing. There's no grand strategy … He's not some wizard playing three-dimensional chess. He's playing Hungry Hungry Hippos!feedback

May 10 2017

Just seeing those guys, it really takes me back. I can still remember my last day at The Daily Show like it was yesterday. I can't put it into words but I can put it into flashback.feedback

May 10 2017

I wouldn't have this gig or any gig if it hadn't been for this man.feedback

May 10 2017

This arrangement we have right now is exactly something we would have made fun of on The Daily Show – because it looks like a morning show right now.feedback

May 06 2017 - FCC

So while I would do it again, I would change a few words that were cruder than they needed to be. I'm not going to repeat the phrase, but I just want to say for the record, life is short, and anyone who expresses their love for another person, in their own way, is to me, an American hero. I think we can all agree on that. I hope even the president and I can agree on that. Nothing else. But, that.feedback

May 06 2017 - FCC

The only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin's (expletive) holster.feedback

May 04 2017 - FCC

The only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin's c--- holster. He, I believe, can take care of himself. I have jokes; he has the launch codes. So, it's a fair fight.feedback

May 04 2017 - Trumpcare

Folks, if you saw my monologue Monday, you know that I was a little upset with Donald Trump for insulting a friend of mine. So, at the end of that monologue, I had a few choice insults for the president in return. I don't regret that. I believe he can take care of himself. I have jokes; he has the launch codes. So, it's a fair fight.feedback

May 04 2017 - FCC

He, I believe, can take care of himself. I have jokes; he has the launch codes. So, it's a fair fight. So while I would do it again, I would change a few words that were cruder than they needed to be. I'm not going to repeat the phrase, but I just want to say for the record, life is short, and anyone who expresses their love for another person, in their own way, is to me, an American hero.feedback

May 04 2017 - Trumpcare

So at the end of that monologue, I had a few choice insults for the president in return. I don't regret that. He, I believe, can take care of himself. I have jokes; he has the launch codes. So, it's a fair fight.feedback

May 03 2017 - Trump-Putin

Sir, you attract more skinheads than free Rogaine. You have more people marching against you than cancer. You talk like a sign language gorilla that got hit in the head.feedback

May 03 2017

They close the bar so early.feedback

May 03 2017

It's [was] like leather and armor at the same time.feedback

May 03 2017 - Fake news

Trump has repeatedly said that this 100 days is totally arbitrary, okay. Totally unimportant. And to prove how unimportant it is, he took out a TV ad, he cut a cake on Air Force One, and he held a rally in Pennsylvania. The theme of that rally, Promises Made, Promises Kept.' Which is better than the original slogan, Promises made, never mind, never said it, fake news, watch Fox & Friends.' . It's true. He doesn't stand by anything except the dressing room door at Miss USA Pageant. … Who needs a lotion?feedback

May 03 2017 - Feminism

Asking Hillary Clinton if sexism exists is like asking Serena Williams if she's heard about this tennis thing. Actually, you can make up whatever you want. Have you met our current president? He's like Stephen King.feedback

May 03 2017

So she made mistakes, publicly recognised them and owned up to her shortcomings? No wonder she lost, that's totally unpresidential.feedback

May 02 2017 - Trump Presidency

We get it, you have a huge tax return. But you know what would be nice? A full release.feedback

May 02 2017 - Trump Presidency

You're not the Potus, you're the Bloatus, you're the glutton with the button, you're a regular Gorge Washington, you're the presi-dunce, but you're turning into a real prick-tator, sir, you attract more skinheads than free Rogaine, you have more people marching against you than cancer, you talk like a sign language gorilla who got hit in the head, in fact the only thing your mouth is good at being is Vladimir Putin's cock holster, your presidential library is going to be a kids menu on a copy of Jugs magazine, the only thing smaller than your hands is your tax returns.feedback

May 02 2017 - North Korea

To prove how unimportant it is, he took out a TV ad, he cut a cake on Air Force One and he held a rally in Pennsylvania. It turns out that being leader of the free world is harder than licensing your name to luxury meat. In his old life, he could spend his time golfing, insulting people on Twitter and hanging out with his family. Trump thinks Kim Jong-un is a smart cookie, to which all of North Korea replied: 'Cookie?'. It's true, he doesn't stand by anything except the dressing room door at the Miss USA pageant.feedback

May 02 2017

I'm happy. Someone is taking a photo of the back for a change.feedback

Apr 29 2017 - Trump Presidency

Maybe the president hasn't gotten a lot done in his first 100 days, but you know who has? America. Congratulations, you did it. First of all, we survived a Trump presidency for 100 days. I don't know about you, but I did not have that in the office pool. And half of those were from Reince Priebus calling to report Steve Bannon. He kind of looks like Vincent D'Onofrio from Men in Black in the ill-fitting man suit.feedback

Apr 29 2017 - Trump Presidency

The point is, a lot has been done in the first 100 days of the Trump presidency, just none of it by him.feedback

Apr 28 2017 - Marijuana

Tuck's a bit mellow today, because for your safety, I have been testing the strength of some of George Soros' patented mind-control marijuana.feedback

Apr 28 2017

Clips like that make Alex Jones seem less like a fit parent and more like a coked-out football coach in a police standoff.feedback

Apr 28 2017

His career was the source of his feelings of omnipotence and grandiosity. Being on TV was like a drug to him, and when it was taken away from him he had to find a substitute drug: planning and carrying out the executions of those people who had humiliated him. Bill … buddy … hello, handsome, I just want to point out – I never humiliated you, O.K.?feedback

Apr 27 2017

You know I gotta be honest: I was kicking ass up until first grade, and then it was all down hill from there.feedback

Apr 25 2017

How is he going to #buildawall when it takes him three hours to #buildasentence?feedback

Apr 25 2017 - Obamacare

He still hasn't filled his cabinet, he didn't repeal Obamacare, there are still Muslims.feedback

Apr 22 2017

And would you like that rare or medium rare?, I'd like that extremely rare, endangered in fact. All cops do this. All policemen get stoned once a year, but first they look in the mirror and say, Am I a cop? I gotta tell me if I'm a cop.feedback

Apr 21 2017

It's a new drink called the Unicorn Frappuccino. Because the name 'Sugary Affront to God' was taken. I have no idea how many unicorns they're grinding up for these things, but I'm guessing PETA is furious.feedback

Apr 21 2017

That's all your food groups right there. Mango, pink, blue, and obviously, topping. The FDA recommends at least three servings of topping a day.feedback

Apr 20 2017

That's huge deficits that can be justified by military expenditure, but you're saying huge deficits cannot be justified by the humanities, by educating people, by the social services, the safety net. They're both vital aspects of our culture. What is the difference between those two – why is one justified and not the other?feedback

Apr 20 2017

Jimmy, can you take the camera off me for just a second?feedback

Apr 20 2017

Now, Bill and I did not see eye-to-eye on … anything. I've done my share of jokes about him; I also stole his microwave once. It's a true story; you can look it up. He's been a guest on this show, and I take no pleasure in his downfall. Okay? I'm not going to sit here and publicly gloat. Don't you owe me an enormous amount of money?feedback

Apr 20 2017

You've been on my show four times now. And I always start with the same question: Bill, what the hell is going on?feedback

Apr 20 2017 - O'Reilly Factor

Hello nation – and shame on you. You failed him; you failed Bill O'Reilly. You didn't deserve this great man. All he ever did was have your back – and if you're a woman, have a go at the front, too. And what, suddenly sexual harassment's a crime? But that's the country we live in now: Obama Trump's America.feedback

Apr 20 2017 - O'Reilly Factor

Here's the thing: I owe a lot to Bill O'Reilly. I spent over nine years playing a character based largely on him – and then 12 months in therapy to de-bloviate myself.feedback

Apr 20 2017

This is huge. It's like looking at your front yard and the big oak tree is just gone. And sure, the oak tree said some disturbing things about young black men, what with their rap music and their neck tattoos.feedback

Apr 20 2017 - Venezuela

The tree had been there forever. And your grandpa likes to sit there and stare at it. And then the tree would sell your grandpa gold coins and self-lubricating catheters.feedback

Apr 18 2017

Listen people: the liberals want to tattoo Obama logos onto the skin of Christian babies. It makes me want to fight! Fight with my fists! My blood is on fire! My heart is a volcano! I'm a skeleton wrapped in angry meat! Unfortunately for him, he works in front of a camera. Clips like that make Alex Jones seem less like a fit parent and more like a coked-out football coach in a police standoff.feedback

Apr 18 2017

The liberals want to tattoo Obama logos onto the skin of Christian babies!feedback

Apr 07 2017

While I didn't know Don Rickles, I did have the incredible honor to meet him once backstage at the Emmys; we were both up for Best Host of a Variety Show, and the better one of us one. I went over to congratulate him when he was doing his photos backstage with his Emmy, and our show The Colbert Report had just won for writing, and he hugged me and told me I was good. And I felt like a made man. Because we all should have his career and be who he was.feedback

Apr 07 2017

I'm not sure if he accomplished all his goals, there are still some Muslims in America. Word on the street is that Jared Kushner helped push Steve Bannon out. How many jobs does that kid have? I'm not surprised, Because whenever Kushner isn't around Bannon calls him a 'cuck'. Bannon tried to stop the demotion, threatening at one point to quit if it went forward.feedback

Apr 06 2017 - Pepsi

So far we don't know what has caused all of America's hot extras to take the streets. I'm guessing it's a protest for Attractive Lives Matter.feedback

Apr 06 2017 - Pepsi

We have a deeply divided nation. But today it seems like everyone has come together to join the protest against the new protest ad from Pepsi. So far, we don't know what has caused all of America's hot extras to take to the streets. But I'm guessing it's a protest for Attractive Lives Matter. They might as well be holding signs that say, we are all the core demographic. Live for now especially if you're Pepsi's marketing department. I don't think you guys are gonna be there for long.feedback

Apr 05 2017

Why do you regret it? You've said worse things and not taken them back.feedback

Apr 05 2017

You know what that means … I hope. Because no one really knows what that means. Fancy language, senator. I will duel you at dawn you charlatan, you mountebank, you mendacious flimflamming dissembler. Bring a pistol and a thesaurus.feedback

Apr 04 2017

That song is just a part of a huge, special, backstage bonus tour with Green Day including more songs they performed right here.feedback

Apr 04 2017

I'm a huge Green Day fan, or as we call ourselves, Green Beans. While they were here, I asked them if we could sing my favorite Green Day song, Good Riddance (Time of Your Life).' And they said, absolutely, if you pay for it.' And I said, no way.feedback

Apr 01 2017 - Trump-Putin

There is sort of a debate on the internet about this thing. Some people find it kind of comforting, others want to know if you can take out a restraining order against a cartoon. Some people have said its the most disturbing cartoon they've ever seen. Well, we here at The Late Show took that as a challenge.feedback

Apr 01 2017

Well, strap in, . Some people have said this is the most disturbing cartoon they've ever seen.feedback

Mar 29 2017 - Obamacare

A lot of people are upset with Donald Trump because he's not keeping all of his campaign promises. He didn't repeal Obamacare last week so today he kept an important campaign promise, one that he said many times: today he repealed the environment. Clean coal sounds like an oxymoron but then so does President Trump.feedback

Mar 29 2017 - Fracking

Repealing environmental regulations will create all sorts of new jobs: oil refining, fracking, clean water historian, keeper of the last six bees .feedback

Mar 28 2017 - Oil

Not enough votes to get a majority? Well that didn't stop you from becoming president. It's almost like you can't trust a fast-talking city slicker who rolls into town promising a magic solution for all our medical needs. I'm starting to doubt the effectiveness of Dr Bannon's anti-Muslim toad oil.feedback

Mar 28 2017 - Oil

So I guess technically he did not fail on Friday, he failed two months ago.feedback

Mar 28 2017

So he blamed the Democrats. Who else did he blame? He blamed conservative Republicans, moderate Republicans. But there is one person Donald Trump did not blame. Can you guess who it is? Here's a hint: It rhymes with Donald Trump.feedback

Mar 28 2017

Not enough votes to get a majority? Well, that didn't stop you from becoming president. … It's almost like we're living in some sort of democracy!feedback

Mar 28 2017

The White House tried to get this thing through. This is not a discussion. This is not a debate. You have no choice but to vote for this bill.feedback

Mar 28 2017

The revolution will not be televised. But it will be merchandised.feedback

Mar 23 2017

Anyone can make a grill seem badass – it's a metal box that uses fire to burn meat. That's why I'm launching my own line of Made-in-the-U.S.A. American-Dumbass-Fun-Time Ice Cream Machines.feedback

Mar 22 2017

Hey @inagarten, saw you baked elephant ears. Thought we had plans? Had to make them alone. (easy & delicious, thanks for the recipe!).feedback

Mar 22 2017

Hey @inagarten – you said you & Jeffrey were having a quiet night in, but I saw that your table is set for six. What's that about?feedback

Mar 21 2017

My real worry here is that a lot of people might go to house.gov and find out how to call their Congressman and tell them to protect kids and old people.feedback

Mar 21 2017

I know what you're saying … they brought food to the elderly. [But] we all know what happens to food when we eat it – we are literally throwing food down the toilet. If we want to keep America safe, why waste money on Meals on Wheels that could be used on weapons systems? A lot of people say that Mulvaney is being cruel to old people. That's not fair. He's also being cruel to young people, because here's the deal: this budget also cuts after-school lunch programs for poor kids.feedback

Mar 16 2017

I hold in my hand something very significant. It is a joke, a joke that we have confirmed has been heard by Donald Trump. We believe this is the first time any joke dealing with Donald Trump has been released.feedback

Mar 16 2017

Why did the chicken – but first, a word about chickens!feedback

Mar 16 2017 - Dutch elections 2017

Is this news or a reality show? I don't want to watch 'America's Got 1040s.feedback

Mar 13 2017 - Nordstrom vs. Trump

If WikiLeaks is to be believed, the latest dump from WikiLeaks says that the CIA is looking at me and listening to me through my TV. Uh, is the CIA listening to me through my microwave oven and through my TV and through my cellphone? Are they doing that, sir? I can tell you that these tools would not be used against an American.feedback

Mar 11 2017

Because what is a highway if not a wall on its side?feedback

Mar 09 2017

Which would be terrible, because their healthcare plan does not cover bloodbath.feedback

Mar 09 2017

Just like in Game of Thrones, a lot of your favourite characters are going to die without warning.feedback

Mar 09 2017

But they insist that contact was strictly under the shirt, over the constitution.feedback

Mar 09 2017

The plan will raise premiums for some elderly people and impact Medicare. And now it's opposed by the AARP. You fools! You've awakened … the ancient ones. For months now, the elders have slumbered after sending one of their own to lead us. But now they stir, roused by a threat to the health care they so cherish. Of course this would summon them: They keep track of the days of the week using pills! And now they are angered, and energized by soup and early-morning mall walks.feedback

Mar 09 2017

Don't you know, they're the ones who vote! They guard the booths and control the sticker supply. Somehow, somewhere, they're voting right now! And, oh, you will rue this trespass, for the ancient ones have nothing but anger and free time. Except Sundays at 8, when MeTV broadcasts 'Columbo.' And your only hope is to pass the bill around 4 p.m., when they get drowsy after dinner.feedback

Mar 08 2017 - CIA

If WikiLeaks is to be believed, the latest dump from WikiLeaks says that the CIA is looking at me and listening to me through my TV. Uh, is the CIA listening to me through my microwave oven and through my TV and through my cellphone? Are they doing that, sir? If they were, would you say yes? Is that a true answer? I don't believe you. I can't wait for the tapes to come out.feedback

Mar 08 2017 - CIA

Let's get straight to the heat and the meat here. Is that possible?feedback

Mar 07 2017 - Trump-Putin

[President Trump] is drowning in P, which again, stands for Putin. Just drink it in.feedback

Mar 07 2017 - Trump-Putin

A lot of people say [the accusation] was to distract from recent bad press: [President Trump]'s like a magician, misdirecting your attention with sleight of hand.feedback

Mar 07 2017 - Trump-Putin

We all know Trump has the slightest of hands.feedback

Mar 07 2017

But Anderson, then the tweets can get backed up, and you get an infection.feedback

Mar 07 2017

It turns out that nobody's better at pleasuring Trump than himself.feedback

Mar 07 2017

I was afraid he'd sold the timeshare in Crazytown. Well, he's baaaaaaack!feedback

Mar 07 2017 - Watergate

First he alleges a scandal worse than Watergate then he immediately goes after Schwarzenegger. It's like if Deep Throat told Woodward and Bernstein: 'You know, Nixon's a criminal, and The Six Million Dollar Man isn't real, it's all done with slow motion.feedback

Mar 07 2017

Does the big angry man want to split up some Muslim families? I see a smile.feedback

Mar 03 2017 - Kremlin

Big news today out of the Kremlin – I'm sorry, I misread that: White House. You know how there's all this smoke about the idea that Trump and his folks colluded with the Russians to influence the election, and the Trump people are saying, There's nothing to see here'? Well I spy with my little eye the attorney general of the United States. Things are getting serious because the White House staff has been told to preserve all Russia-related materials. So, you hear that Mr. President? Do not get that mattress steam-cleaned yet.feedback

Mar 03 2017

Franken didn't even ask if you were involved! Why did you volunteer to lie?feedback

Mar 01 2017 - Nordstrom vs. Trump

Adding just one more thing: Suck it, Nordstrom. So, as we come to end of tonight's address to Congress, I think we can all agree on one thing – one down, seven to go. There's a quicker way to say that entire sentence. She just lied.feedback

Mar 01 2017 - Nordstrom vs. Trump

Any chance there's a mistake and 'Moonlight' is the president? Then he extinguished that torch with a coconut and asked the Democrats to leave the island. Honestly, I don't know what we inherited; you inherited, like, $100 million. Let's be honest. I've got to say, that must have been hard on Trump: People got so excited just hearing Obama's name. Well, there's one problem we can't solve for four years, but, other than that, I agree with you. And this surprised me. This next thing I did not expect at all. Trump came out as pro-choice when it comes to schools.feedback

Mar 01 2017

Any chance there's a mistake and Moonlight is the president? The female members of the house Democratic caucus all wore white in honor of women's suffrage, while the Republicans wore white in honor of who elected them. So many handshakes, such little hands. It's just like the Statue of Liberty says: give us your tired, your poor, but not so poor that they can't afford a two-bedroom apartment and like, a Mitsubishi. Well, there's one problem we can't solve for four years.feedback

Mar 01 2017 - Nordstrom vs. Trump

The theme of the speech was 'renewal of the American spirit,' which I gotta say, really just sounds like a Chinese bootleg of 'Make America Great Again.feedback

Mar 01 2017 - Nordstrom vs. Trump

Honestly, I don't know what we inherited. You inherited like, $100 million. O.K.? Let's be honest. Maybe even rebuild it 10 times, if we had people who refused to pay their contractors. Nonessential federal workers – so Kellyanne Conway is out? People who believe that Donald Trump is an existential threat to this nation, to the experiment of democracy, to Western civilization itself, take heart, because for their powerful rebuttal, the Democrats showed a rerun of 'The Andy Griffith Show.feedback

Jan 23 2017

This will be the largest audience to witness an Emmys, period. Both in person and around the globe.feedback

Dec 04 2016

For the past eight years, the White House has given us a leader who's passionate, intelligent and dignified. Sir, I don't even know why you stood up. I was talking about Michelle.feedback

Jan 15 2014

I know there's some polls out there saying that this man has a 32-percent approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in 'reality.' And reality has a well-known liberal bias.feedback

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