Trevor Noah

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Last quote by Trevor Noah

Trump is basically like that one guy who didn't know that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, and instead, the second he got home, posts all the pictures on Instagram and tags you and your wife in it.feedback
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May 17 2017 Trump Presidency
Trevor Noah has been quoted in 27 different articles. Most recently, Trevor Noah has been quoted saying, “No one wants Russians getting information. It doesn't matter what the information is. It could be a surprise party that your friend told you about. If you tell the Russians, it's not going to end well. Your friend is going to wash up on the beach without his head. You know things are bad when you're describing your president's actions in the same way that you're describing the lovechild of an incestuous couple. Baby, it's not about me cheating on you, it's that these hoes ain't loyal.” in an article called Late-night hosts on Trump: 'We are knee-deep in a steaming pile of consequence'. This is only one of 54 quotes from Trevor Noah. To see more examples Trevor Noah’s views and opinions, check out the section below. You can filter Trevor Noah's quotes by date and by topic to see, for example, what Trevor Noah said about moment recently and in the past.
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Trevor Noah quotes

A lot of people make that mistake with celebrities and people who are in places that are prominent. They go: 'Oh, you're just having a good time. You don't have issues.' No, everyone's got issues with self-esteem. Some people do not, but most people do. You know what's nice? A lot of women are really nice people. They'll go, Alright, you idiot, I'll talk to you.' And it all works out!feedback

Never open with a joke. It is the most horrible thing. Jokes require context. Without context, you're just some random person who came and told someone they fell from [heaven] or some randomness, and if you mess it up you look worse and it seems like an insult. No humor! Just say hello. That's it!feedback

Was this a prank and if so how much can we pay you to end it? And he has a number, by the way. You don't need to explain it to the folks back home, you need to explain it to Americans. Because I feel like for the first time, Americans and everyone else in the world are both wondering at the same time, What the hell is going on in America?' It's an interesting time, where America's in a place where it feels like we're learning about the presidency at the same time as the president.feedback

She did so much dissing, all of the memes joined her on stage. This is classic Hillary though. She goes away for six months, plans all of her comebacks and then goes on Christiane Amanpour and lets them all fly. I will say this though, after 100 days of President Trump it was refreshing to hear a politician talk in full sentences about complicated issues. When Hillary is speaking you can really tell that she knows who Frederick Douglass is.feedback

He no longer has that new president smell. If I had to guess I'd say he now smells like nepotism and steak sauce.feedback

What are black people are supposed to do on this holiday?feedback

What are black people supposed to do on this holiday? So I either don't get the day off, or I support slavery? Man, I'll take the day off, but I'm watching B.E.T. the whole time.feedback

It's 100 days in Trump time. For us, it's 15 years. It's starting to become clear that President Trump has accomplished very little of what he promised. Travel ban? Blocked. Healthcare plan? Blocked. And surprise, surprise, no one wants to pay for his wall. You don't get to just disregard the number because you don't like the current results. Because if most voters got to choose the number they preferred, well, you wouldn't be in the White House, Donald. It's true, you can't tear your eyes away from Sean Spicer. It's like watching a car crash that knows nothing about the Holocaust.feedback

I bet Trump is one of those people who makes too many new year's resolutions.feedback

He looks less like a press secretary and more like an overworked kindergarten teacher.feedback

As someone who gets a lot of Twitter hate, I'd prefer it to come from a cute little egg.feedback

If Trump only wants to spend time on the military then maybe we just have to make everything military.feedback

He's legitimately mad that the Democrats wouldn't vote to repeal Obama's healthcare bill. Wow, that Fox News shit was insane. No, in fact it sounded just like North Korea's propaganda news.feedback

That is true, by the way. But at the last minute, she bailed on us, and the reason she gave – and this is true again – is that the administration didn't want her interview on 'The Daily Show' to eclipse the news of the day. Now, that doesn't really make sense to us because this was the news of the day.feedback

That's right, people. Obama didn't wiretap Trump, and even the FBI thinks there is something at least worth investigating regarding how much Trump's campaign communicated with Russia. Wow. I did not see that coming.feedback

Imagine you're at Thanksgiving again and your racist uncle walked in.feedback

There's definitely a sense of we're-in-this-together-ness. People are finding a space here in saying, Oh, I'm not crazy – somebody else is also outraged by this.feedback

As with most Trump scandals, the most fun part of the ride is watching his people try, and fail, to defend him.feedback

Just a week ago, the media was calling Donald Trump presidential. Didn't he learn anything from that? You know, the press was like, Dude, you can trick us if you want, just talk nice,' and still he was like, Pass'. You know the story's bonkers when your spokesperson says: 'He can speak for himself'. I'll agree with that: Trump has intelligence that I definitely do not.feedback

No matter how hard the Trump administration tries, Russia keeps coming back. I'd say that Russia is Trump's herpes. Every time we dig deeper into Trump's campaign, it seems like there's a new person that's connected to the Russians. First it was Paul Manafort, then it was Flynn, the whole thing is like one of those Russian nesting dolls… Now it's Sessions. He lied under oath, while interviewing to be the guy who prosecutes people for lying under oath.feedback

How do Trump's people keep forgetting that they've met with Russians? Lemme tell you something: If you meet a Russian, you remember them. Those people make an impression. The moment they say 'Hel-lo,' it's an immediate fight-or-flight response. You don't forget that. Meeting a Russian is always the highlight of your day. You could meet an alien after you meet a Russian and still you'd be like, You'll never guess what happened on the way to that alien.feedback

The room is so black it looks like a photo negative of the Trump administration.feedback

I genuinely don't understand how America can be this disorganized or this hateful, I don't know which it is. Right now, I'd call it a nail-biter if I had any nails left.feedback

I know there are moments where I feel like I have excelled or reached where I would like to be. But I'm far from, from where I would like to end up. For now, it is a good grade.feedback

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